For many of us, the start of a new year can feel invigorating, a chance to wipe the slate clean and reinvent ourselves. We commit to New Year’s resolutions and pledge to overhaul our habits, health, careers, and relationships. Yet, despite our best intentions, statistics consistently show that most resolutions fall by the wayside within a few weeks. By Valentine’s Day, 80% of us have abandoned our resolutions, putting ourselves and our dreams on the back burner until the following year, when we do it all over again—an endless loop of resolutions and defeat.
So why do these well-intentioned resolutions often not stick, and what can we do differently this year to create lasting change?
The Pitfalls of Resolutions
1) Unrealistic Expectations: Resolutions are often set with high expectations when fervor for change is at its peak. Unfortunately, this initial inspiration might not sustain the long-term effort required for significant change.
2) Lack of Specificity: Vague resolutions like “lose weight” or “be happier” lack the specificity needed for effective goal-setting. Losing track of wins, pitfalls, and motivation is a given without a clear plan or measurable steps.
3) All-or-nothing mindset: Many resolutions are made with an all-or-nothing mentality. When setbacks occur (as they inevitably do), this rigid mindset can lead to feelings of failure, defeat, and abandonment of the resolution.
A Shift in Approach
Instead of setting traditional resolutions that often fizzle out and leave us feeling defeated, adopting alternative strategies can help create more sustainable and meaningful change.
1) Reflect on the Past Year: Take stock of what worked well and what didn’t. Celebrate achievements and use the lessons learned from challenges to help you create the change you desire in the coming year.
2) Think broadly: What do you want more of (community, financial stability, family dinners) and less of (harried mornings, work stress, sleepless nights) this year? Use these reflections to design intentions and goals for the coming year. What do you want to bring in, and what do you want to leave behind?
3) Let One Word Be Your Guide: Think of a word that describes what you want to cultivate this year, and let everything flow from that word. When you feel unsure or off track, return to that word and ask yourself if your actions, habits, and decisions align with your intentions for the new year.
4) Know Your “Why”: Understanding your “why” (why this goal?) allows you to go deeper and get in touch with the real purpose behind your goal. For example, if your goal is to get in shape, ask yourself why you want to get in shape. Is it just to look good in a bikini, or is it to feel more confident, healthy, and energetic, and looking fit will help drive that bigger, more meaningful goal? Check out this post on the importance of understanding your “Why” and then head here to learn how.
5) Set Intentions, Not Resolutions: Rather than focusing on rigid goals, consider setting intentions. Intentions are about how you want to approach life, the mindset you want to cultivate, or the values you want to embody. For instance, instead of resolving to lose 20 pounds, set an intention to prioritize your health and well-being. Then set SMART goals that are aligned with that intention.
6) SMART Goals: When setting goals, make them Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound (SMART). Break down larger goals into smaller, actionable steps. For example, if you intend to go to the gym more, a SMART goal might be to exercise for 30 minutes three times a week. Check out this post to learn more about setting SMART goals.
7) Focus on Habits Over Results. Instead of fixating on the goal or end game, concentrate on building sustainable habits. Research shows that habits form the foundation of lasting change. Start small, be consistent, and gradually build upon these habits.
8) Practice Self-Compassion: Embrace setbacks as part of the journey. Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. Understand that progress isn’t linear, and each day is an opportunity to start anew.
Takeaways:
As we embark on a new year, let’s reconsider the traditional approach of setting resolutions that often lead to frustration and disappointment. By shifting our focus to intentions, setting SMART goals, prioritizing habits, knowing what motivates us, and practicing self-compassion, we pave the way for sustainable change and a fulfilling life.
Happy New Year! May this one be filled with love, health, and well-being.
xo Lisa
